By Alex Banx
Los Angeles, CA (The Hollywood Times) 02/09/2023– The idea of a “retreat” in “Los Angeles” may not seem like those words flow together for most of us in the city unless “away” and “from” were in the between but when my friend, Dr. Tanya, invited me to the IRISE Retreat, several moments in my life from the prior 2 weeks were telling me to go.
“IRISE – A retreat to provide you a safe space to explore & connect with your mind, body, spirit, and your relationship with yourself and others.” Via the Eventbrite page)
The day came. I was off work 5. The email said doors close at 6. I had an hour to get through 10 miles of LA rush-hour traffic. Easy, is not a word I would use my commute, but I made it, barely. I sat down and exhaled two sighs of relief. One, for making it in time. Two, for not having to touch a steering wheel for another few hours.
The double-doors to the all-glass front entrance were closed minutes later. Manna welcomed the group to the retreat.
As the anxiety from drive faded away, I began to take in the surrounds. We were in a gallery space with beautiful black and white photography by Katya (Marbella, Spain) all around. Fifteen or so individuals sat between the art-filled walls with their yoga mats and throw pillows considerately spaced apart, each with a colorful giftbag next them. Complimentary zero sugar “Positive® Energy” beverages were pass around. I had the ‘Tropical Bliss.’
“Finding your true self is an act of love. Expressing it is an act of rebellion.”
-Manna Dabholkar
6:15 PM – Summer Morgan, nestled on a fluffy bright-white faux fur rug among her family of beautiful glass singing bows and other instruments, guided us as the sound bath took us away. The mallets vibrantly caressing the gong muffled the chaos outdoors coming from sirens and the hostile traffic slashing down Melrose Boulevard. It was relaxing.
“Is someone snoring.”
6:30 PM – Enters Dr. Tanya Gilbert, Clinical Psychologist, Behavioral Health Expert, Founder & CEO of tSage Center of Change, Inc., and so much more! This was an interactive retreat. We were all handed one of three workbooks written by Dr. Tanya. Paired into groups, we were each to share our responses to the questions on the markers in books.
“Why is it important to cultivate independence in a relationship?”
That my question. My book, The Exchange, Vol. 1 – Perceptions: Inspirational Reflections for Living.
We shared.
With virtual attendees tuned in, Dr. Tanya reunited us all to further discuss what our questions had in common. The questions boiled down to one central ask: Are we being true to ourselves (when it is most important to be)? But what does that mean? How often do inauthentic choices cost us our inner peace? How often has putting ourselves last, blowing off things that are important to us, lead to feelings of resentment and guilt?
Beliefs vs values came up several times during the evening. A belief is something we believe with or without facts. A value is something we consider important, like rules and behaviors.
Every culture has rules and norms that must be followed. Dr. Tanya reminds us that when we go against what we believe, we also against our personal values. Inauthenticity takes over. Individuals are often pressured to give up their individuality if they want to be ‘good humans’, to be accepted by others, to avoid ridicule, or in hope of being rewarded. When we disagree with the rules we conform to, we lose our individuality. We lose confidence. To retain our confidence, we have to set rules for ourselves and teach people how to treat us.
7:00 PM – Dr. Tanya passed the baton to Jennifer Ducker, Transformational Coach, Spiritual Healer, and Psychic Medium with a Master’s in Sociology and Anthropology.
“Who the f**k are you?”
Jennifer asked us to ask yourselves, “What are our core values?” What qualities of life do we need for ourselves to not feel terrible about how we see ourselves?
Jennifer’s Top 3 Core Values:
- Creativity
- Freedom (within reason)
- Goal/Purpose
These three core values resonated with me because they can be broken down into more specific sub-core values, like the freedom of not having to stress over approaching medical bills and the freedom attained while on vacation overseas with the phone off for days. Purpose can include empathic contributions to the wellbeing of others (without self-sacrifice). Creativity leads the way.
7:30 PM – After a brief intermission to get up, walk around, stretch out, or visit the restroom, it was time again to recenter our chakras starting with another therapeutic sound bath voyage.
8:00 PM – Back to Earth, Manna Dabholkar, Ancestral Lineage Healer, Therapist, Life Coach, Neurolinguistic Programmer, and CEO at GIFT Global Initiative, took center-stage. It was time to bring the lessons together, connecting with ourselves and connecting with others.
Manna handed out a packet of exercises on boundaries and expectations from the Conscious Leadership Institute, then had us dig deep to contemplate the difference between values and beliefs, and to know ours, noting, we attract suffering when we don’t know how we feel and when we go against how we feel. We have to know our values to set our boundaries. We need to set boundaries for ourselves including not expecting those boundaries to always be meet by others, even when made clear, else we will be saddened when those expectations are not met. Expectations often lead to disappointment in self and others. Applying our values to others doesn’t work. Comparing ourselves to others causes self-doubt. Our perceptions of life are all different.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines perception (noun) as a belief or opinion, often held by many people and based on how things seem.
Set Boundaries. Release expectation.
Before wrapping, Manna offered a few quick tips to help us embrace our values:
- What we admire in others is our values.
- How we spend our money says a lot about who we are.
- Don’t tell, show others your values by your actions.
- Be fully in your body so no one and nothing else can take up that space.
- Do not let one bad moment ruin a potentially great one.
If we’re not in sync with our lives, if we sacrifice our values, we’re not going to get to where we want to be. Always be authentic!
8:30 PM – Summer returned to the white fur rug to take us through our final oceanic shoreline sound bath journey. We closed our eyes listening to lions’ purr to rhythm of distant windchimes as a landing spaceship hovered over thunderous crashing waves. A cricket found its way aboard the spaceship. The waves settled and we came back to dry land.
The first session of the IRISE Retreat had end. Filled with positive energy—not just the beverage—I was interested in what was next! I had a few questions for Manna, Jennifer, and Dr. Tanya.
*(1) Why were you 3 interested in coming together for the IRISE Retreat?
Jennifer: We wanted to find a subject that everyone can relate to so [we] started off with the broad subject of connection and then broke it down into its many forms. We wanted tackle, how a person relates to themselves, others and the world, really focusing on the internal and external journey.
*(2) What should (or shouldn’t) attendees expect while attending the IRISE Retreat, in-person and/or virtually?
Manna: Connections aims at bringing about a conscious transformation in how we perceive ourselves, how we perceive rest of the world and hence how we create our future. This is ideal for those seeking to improve their relationships with themselves and others and eliminate self-doubt.
The course will provide you with a range of innovative strategies for evaluating your attitudes and core beliefs. You will redefine and communicate your Core Values and reset your Boundaries. The training is focused on how we communicate with ourselves inside, which affects the way we communicate with others externally; the conscious and unconscious mental processes that influence how we interpret our everyday life, career, and relationship experiences. Our perceptions, beliefs, emotions, behaviors, attitudes, and communication styles are linked to the results and outcomes we experience every day.
*(3) What’s next for the IRISE, Manna, Dr. Tanya, and Jennifer?
The second session of the IRISE Retreat will be held in London on March 4, 2023.
The Conscious Leadership Institute is also hosting a ‘Wine and Wellness’ event back in Los Angeles at the TAG Gallery on Wilshire, March 16th. ‘The soiree is designed to bring culture, community, wellness and good vibes together in support of a great cause of providing Solar Lights to Children with no access to electricity in 17 countries. 985 million People live without Power. Each Ticket Purchased brings that number down. Featuring over 20 vendors: Tarot Readers, Psychic Readers, Sound Bath, Mediums, illustrations, paintings, oddities, fine jewelry, fashion goods, skin care, wellness and more.’
Visit the Conscious Leadership Institute’s Eventbrite page for more info.
Thank you to the IRISE Team & the Conscious Leadership Institute.
Instagram: @dr.tanyagilbert | @mannadabhokar | @jennifer.ducker | @summermorgan333
