Who Are We In Our Relationships?
This week we have Venus, the planet of love, in the powerhouse of Aries. We also have a full moon in Virgo, the king of all list makers and taskmasters. So, a lot of “get it together”, forward moving, big energy. If you are feeling it, then you are in the right place.
Aries are born leaders of the zodiac they are often fiercely independent, entrepreneurs, and path forgers. Like all leaders, Aries have to determine a very strong sense of self, so strong that it holds up to scrutiny from others, as many leaders often face. Their sense of who they are is what guides them to their leadership roles and helps them forge the path for others to follow.
So this week we want to bring that Aries independence and sense of self into our relationships. Partnerships go through many acts; they ebb and flow. Sometimes our partners can be our knights in shining armor, and sometimes we just have to do it ourselves. So, we need to have a strong sense of self in our relationships too.
Love Them but Don’t Leave Yourself
It’s not uncommon to lose ourselves in partnerships, we morph into another person’s version of us, or we allow the relationship itself to define us. For example, “I am a wife”, “I am a husband”, “I am so and so’s girlfriend/boyfriend” etc. However those titles are negotiable, meaning with the signing of a pen, or the sending of a text, those relationships can end. So, defining ourselves by something so tenuous is not always the best plan. We need to have a defined sense of self within our partnerships to not only ensure they are healthier and last longer but that we don’t fall apart if they don’t.
Now don’t get me wrong, the honeymoon phase of a relationship is wonderful, and we often tend to wrap ourselves up in it like a warm blanket. We seemingly morph into this new person and relationship for a while. And believe it or not, that’s ok. Part of learning balance is often letting the pendulum swing to extremes before it centers itself in the middle. So skipping a Sunday run to snuggle in bed with your honey, is not the end of the world. It is an enjoyable part of life and moderation. Eventually, the honeymoon phase will even out, you will be back to your Sunday runs, and you will find ways to combine the two previously separate lives you both were living.
In fact, in the best of all worlds, good relationships actually make us more of ourselves or even the best version of ourselves. Perhaps our partner is actually encouraging us to go on our run and will join us on it. True soulmates help us grow, expand, and further ourselves on our path. They make us more ourselves than we ever thought possible.
The problem lies when we don’t let the pendulum swing back to center and give up everything for our new relationship. Or we begin to identify our entire sense of self with our partner or the relationship, and we begin to blow off important things to us, simply for the sake of the other.
So, that begs the question…who are we? And how can we hang onto it in our relationships?
Well thankfully the Aries phrase is “I Am” so it is here to help us not only discover who we are but how to hold it up even in the face of changing circumstances and scrutiny.
If you are single, you may discover the things that are valuable to you as a person and that you don’t want to lose within a relationship. In fact, getting very clear on these things can help you draw in your perfect partner.
So this week we are going to channel the list-making attributes of the Virgo full moon to dig deep into our Aries hearts and write out our answers to a few questions. Hopefully, these will help lead us to deeper meanings of who we are and how we can bring that into and keep it within our relationships.
Weekly To-Do List:
Grab a journal, and ask yourself these questions:
- What are three attributes you value about yourself?
- What are three goals you have in life?
- What are three hobbies/interests that you feel really represent who you are?
- What is one thing you do on a weekly or daily basis, that you do just for yourself?
If you are in a relationship:
- Do you feel you compromise any of those things?
- Do you still do/pursue all of those things?
- If not, what is one actionable way you can re-introduce them into your life?
- Do you feel your partner is supportive of your interests/goals/attributes?
If not, why not?
If you are single:
- What are three ways you can ensure those things stay at the forefront of a future relationship?
- How could those qualities/attributes/interests lead you to your partner?
- What are three things about yourself, that don’t want to lose in a relationship?
Proceed With Caution
With the Virgo full moon, there is also a strong sense of expression present. Meaning we may want to communicate what we find. However, I suggest caution in doing so, while Virgo is very precise in wording, and Aries very brave in the undertaking of conflict and conversations, they are also very intense energies. That coupled with the full moon can be a lot. You will want to be very sure of what it is you want to communicate before doing so.
However, if you have the wording and emotion calibrated, it’s a good time to share with your partner your discoveries here. It’s a great way to work with the astrology instead of against it. However, if you feel a little too emotional about the subject, then it might be best to wait until the moon phase has concluded, just to let some of the extra emotional energy drain out. If not, Aries full steam ahead and let your partner know how you feel and where you would like to reclaim your pre-relationship self-glory.
So, write it out, find and express yourself but do so with intention. It has the potential to be a great, and very strong, week! Happy star surfing!
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We would love to hear how it’s going! Got questions or comments? Write to me! [email protected]